Some Jokes with a Jamaican Flavour

St. Paul at the Pearly Gates

St. Paul was at the pearly gates, letting in people from all over the world. As each person came up, he glanced at their visas before letting them into heaven.

Then a posse of Jamaicans came up next in line, St Paul put a halt on the line and painstakingly went through the passport of the Jamaicans. He then took all their passports and asked them to wait at the pearly gates until he went inside to get a second opinion on their visas.

When he retunred to the gate to let them in … the Jamaicans were no where to be seen, they were all gone and so were the pearly gates. šŸ˜€ šŸ™‚ šŸ˜€

You Could Have …

A Jamaican and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The Jamaican explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the Jamaican insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the Jamaican, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the Jamaican and wife to use.

“But we didn’t use them”, the Jamaican complains.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the Manager.

The Manager goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” complains the Jamaican again.

“Well, we have them, and you could have”, the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the Jamaican replies, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Jamaican gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But sir,” he says, “this check is only made out for $100.”

“That’s right,” says the Jamaican. “I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

“Well,” the Jamaican replies, “she was here, and you could have.” šŸ˜€ šŸ™‚ šŸ˜€

Fly Air Jamaica!

A mother and her son were flying Air Jamaica from Montego Bay to Miami. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy said, “Yes she did”.

Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Air Jamaica always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.” šŸ˜€ šŸ™‚ šŸ˜€

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3 Responses to “Some Jokes with a Jamaican Flavour”

  1. Bram-bram! Salute fe de hotel joke!

  2. 1st time I’m hearing the Air Jamaica one! Tuff!!

  3. Gela Words Says:

    hehe. Nice.

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