Forever Using Technology

We went to the revolutions. We drank deeply from their font, like it had no tomorrow! Gran Marnier, Tequila, Redstripe, Corona. And then the Chicken Korma?! I was upset when she looked at me with those evil eyes. She crawled through the grass, upon her belly, in a wave. She undulated along, slithering from side to side. Her eyes, never closing. She stuck her tongue out at me. It was thin and the end was forked. A great stone was upended by the revolutions, and it fell upon her back and she moved away on the rapids of time.

Then she fixed me with her eyes. I can’t stand when she does that. They don’t belong to her really. They are a part of her butt they really belong to something else, something old and wrinkled and ugly and evil! And she looked at me and then she leaned in close. She twined her arms around my neck and she whispered in my ear, “Do you know what the maxi pad said to the fart?”. And I said, “Huh?”. And she replied “You’re the wind beneath my wings!”. And I couldn’t help it, eyes of Horus or not, scaly skin and forked tongue or not, I had was to laugh! And with my laugh, my ba-soul left my body and followed the sun through the underworld.

I don’t want no confusion though. I hold beauty, even as beauty holds me… enthralled. I can’t move… paralyzed. Oh yeah… the stench of rotten food permeated the washing machine. It made my heart weary. I resolved not to give up though! I’d never give it up like no silly ho! No money, no love. Not a backside. And the song was slow… slow and dead. And the sky grew dark. Clouds rolled in and thunder rolled across the heavens. “Lets get ready to rumble!”, I thought and giggled again.

Inside the temple, a curtain ripped suddenly. It was electric and the smell of cordite or sulphur filled the air. But out of death, new life arose, with a click and a new page load, and in the middle of the night, I jumped up… sat up in bed, rigid! Thats it! A lightbulb went on in my head. Light splashed around the room, spilling forth from a point to my left. Bright yellow. Golden really. She wants it. And just like that, an idea was borne out.

Longing For…

Well, the morning started good! I got some good news, yeah! It sounds like everything is all set now! It is definitely going to happen! This guy in the pictures below, he is with a radio station here in the Cayman Islands, Hot 104.1 FM. He was on TV this morning, on Daybreak (the local morning program), and he was talking about it!

 

Destra! Allison Hinds! And others too, don’t remember who, but I think the show is going to go down at the Lions Center on November 2, 2007 and you know which Natty and which Bull ago deh deh! Its been awhile since we have gone out and wuk up we waists! Its full time! I wonder if M’Buthelezi can babysit, sah? All I know is, IanI cannot wait!

On top of that, November seems to be a month we will always remember, because I have heard mutterings that Third World and Morgan Heritage will be here as well! Then there is Pirates Week coming up, that is sure to have some nice festivities going on… November sounding good, boy!

People, I may not have mentioned it before. It has been raining here. Lots! Imagine, I took three days vacation leave and I never got even one chance to go to the beach! Can you believe it? All I have done every day is to hit one of the bars that opens early and play pool with whoever I found in there. One time, I was even teaching Ninochka (the bartender) how to play! The pool playing has been entertaining, but I sort of want to deal with some seaside fun now, Iyah!

Anyway, according to the weatherman on Daybreak, things may just be looking up! “This afternoon could have us seeing blue skies and sun again!”, he said! I plan to make use of that rass! Governor’s Harbour, here I come, boy! I don’t want to break my gym going plans though, so maybe I have to go early today. When I am finished with this post, I think I will just go wash some clothes (ugh), head down to Kings Gym, then to the beach. Or depending on the sun and so on, maybe I will go to the beach, then to the gym. We shall see…

Later on, I want to do a little clubbin wit’ mah honey. I am trying to line up some kalooki over the weekend as well. Hopefully that will all work out.

Anyway, I am going to run now. TTYL! Have a great Friday and a wikid weekend!

Nnenna… or is it Ulunma?

So in a fit of idleness, I was watching America’s Next Top Model yesterday. A couple of the things that struck me were just how much difference make up can make, and just how beautiful Nnenna is. (Here is her MySpace site)

She pretty fi real, but still, if I were going out with her, our first fifty or so dates would be at restaurants! She could sure use a pound or two, take a look!

Yeah boy, after she gained about twenty pounds, I am sure she would retain her God-given good looks and also, she might just have gained a butt to die for, don’t you think so too? Then she would become an even brighter shinier jewel than she is right now!

Its like the first time I was watching this show, so I had never seen Nnenna before, and immediately I thought that she would end up being the winner. Then I googled her and realised that she had been the eighth girl to be eliminated, so apparently I was watching reruns. I couldn’t believe that she was eliminated, but reading the story of it, I realise now how this could happen.

“[… During their deliberations, the judges agreed that while Nnenna was beautiful and had begun the competition as one of the strongest participants, they felt that she failed to grow out of her safe, routine photo shoot performances.”

…”You started this competition at the top of the pack, you had that ‘It’ thing, but that ‘It’ thing is fading,” Tyra explained to Nnenna before eliminating her from the competition. (click here to go to this article)

You know, I have tried my hand at modelling a time or two in the past. I always had difficulty posing on command though…

“Smile, now, Mad… thats not a smile, thats a grimace…. just relax and smile… think happy thoughts! Oh God! Ok, lets take a short break and then try again…”

You know, thinking back, if they had flung down some liquor upon me to take the initial anxiety and stress out of the whole thing, I may have done a lot better. Oh well… why cry over what might have been? Maybe some of us just weren’t meant for modelling. Pity… I would probably have lots more cash now and my bedroom conquest stories would undoubtedly have been way more numerous! Not more exciting though, I’ll wager.

Anyway, Nnenna, even though you were eliminated, take heart. At least none of the other contestants on America’s Top Model will ever be able to say that their picture graced the “El Toro Loco” blog! That is something you will always have over them.

OK, Here is a Question for You…

I was just reading up on this whole Jena 6 affair (yeah, I know, I’m behind on the news) and it occurred to me that I have been hearing and reading a lot of racially oriented information of late. What do you think? Is the issue of race and race relations becoming more prevalent nowadays in the United States (and perhaps Canada as well) today than it was in the last two decades?

T.G.I.F? Maybe for Oonoo!

Hey, you guys remember when you were taken to somewhere people THOUGHT you would have fun… where you were subjected to heat, heat and more heat… lots of walking in the hot sun… thirst… hunger… tiredness… eventually you get really cranky and start to go on bad!!!

I remember it. When I was younger, my Mom and Dad took all seven of us kids all over the place in Florida…. Miami Seaquarium, Parrot Jungle, Disney World! Everywhere we went, my Dad would force us to stop in de hot sun so he could shoot some pictures of us kids… I remember I looked much like my pickney above…. Look at how he is holding down his head and glowering at the camera nuh? I must ask Seven if he broke her camera!

Anyway, this weekend is looking kind of busy for the I. I may have to put in some time at work. I want to get in some beach time though. Wish me luck nuh? Or even Say a Likkle Prayer for me!

By the way, Doctor D has not been blogging for some time now. Recently he mentioned that some spammers have taken over the comment section of his site. Given that he is out of this whole blogging thing, I decided that its probably just too much trouble to fix that problem, so I just decided to blow away his entire site! Don’t worry though! If you feel like reading some of the goodly Doctor’s old posts, you can still find them. I have simply moved them to the Tower of Babel. Just go through the archjives from about June 2007 backwards in time. Thare are plenty of posts there, interspersed with the stuff written by a number of other authors and I. Also, if you just wat to read stuff by the Doctor (ie. you ain’t into wading through the other bullshit on the site) you can read the Doctor’s old stuff, (and perhaps anything new he may write) at http://doctordeefromjamaica.wordpress.com/

Doctor D, if you feel up to posting something new at the Tower, just sound me up for a UserID and password, you know seh you must get them. I have sent you your user id and password for DoctorDfromJamaica to your email address. Please at least take the time to select a nice theme. The default theme is rather boring, what?! Respect, mi moreno.

Yo, even though I will probably be slaving away part of this weekend, thats no reason for the rest of you to sit around moping. Get on out and (* insert your favourite way to have fun here *)!!!

TTYL.

Love is as skin deep as beauty

Ok, ok, ok! Not a post from me tonight. No, tonight was a night for a post at The Mad Bull’s Blog. Still, I read a couple of posts over by the site nuffcrap.com and I found the yute Shonari (he is the author) to be quite talented! He has some interesting stuff up, and so I have decided to link to one of his posts.

Ladeez and gentulmen! Go ye forth to Shonari’s site and read! I will recommend to you as a first read this excellent hypothesis about beauty and its relationship to… er… relationships. Here it is : “Love is as skin deep as beauty“. Now go. Read it. I gone to bathe and go to bed. I don’t know about you but I got to go to work in the AM

I Think of Dead People…

Yeah, I know say is Friday… but ah so it go sometimes… No watch no face. Gwaan a street go run de place RED!

A Real Nightmare!

I was just reading Sir Scratchie’s account of his trip to New York on Air Jamaica right after Hurricane Dean, and trust me, reading his account, my blood started to boil! His story was so similar to my experience when we were trying to fly out MBJr. when Hurricane Dean was coming that its even harder to believe that what happened that night was a co-incidence, or even the result of other airlines breaking contractual arrangements with Cayman Airways, as has been suggested. Even if there were issues with other airlines not sending the planes that they had contracted with Cayman Airways to send, I know that a lot of Jim Screechy bullshit was going on with the tickets that night.

Like Sir Scratchie, I eventually lost it and started to get on bad! You know what bruck me out? There was this lady who had been there in line just as long as I had been, right? She was there with her yute, and the yute was so tired that the lady had to put the yute on the dirty, hard floor to sleep. (See the picture right here in this post)

People, the few times that the line moved, the lady had to be dragging her yute on the ground like baggage! Trust me! Then you know what? People were there boring in front of her and in the most shameful way at that! Barefaced bullshit!

I wasn’t even in her line, but eventually I had to speak up. When I started, some other people started and then they sent for police to calm us down because some airline agents and some boorish passengers was going to get an arsing that night, lemme tell you!

Anyway, the police came and sorted things out, bwoy! And they were polite while doing it too! Royal Cayman Islands Police Service (RCIPS), oonoo deserve a big up for that night, let me tell you!

Fulla Big Chat But Cyah Defend That!

Respect to all crew? What a gwaan? Peeps, its a grey, rainy day here in the Cayman Islands. The sea is flat though, so we have two cruise ships at anchor in the harbour. Its not too bad though… there are tourists knocking about, but not too many, you know? You can walk, ride or drive in peace.

It seems like everyone who has been away from work on vacation leave over the summer returned this morning, of all mornings! Like I said, its rainy, you know, and I just could not find a parking spot!

I had to give a co-worker my ID card to swipe me in (so I wouldn’t be marked late) and then leave and hunt for a park. I couldn’t find any near to my office at all either!

I eventually had to park in the big parking lot by the Bayshore Mall, which is pretty far from my office if you consider that I have to walk to work and its drizzling! Its not as bad as it could be though, as I did have my unbrella on me for once, thank God!

The day cleared up nicely by 11:00am and it wasn’t a bad day at all! It is a day that deserves to be noted here on the blog as well because I got a fair bit of work done, because I went out in the night and played pool and I played pretty decently which by recent standards is great, and also, because I saw Trouble and Chiquita at the pool hall!

Its been a long while since I saw Sir Trouble, so that was pretty nice. We chilled by the bar and had a few drinks… well, I did anyway.

Anyway, I don’t really want to bore you all to death with a blow by blow description of my day so I will leave it at that. I will also leave you with some laughs. Check these jokes out, seen?

Movie Theater Mayhem!

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient.

“Sir,” the usher said, “if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

“All right, buddy. What’s your name?”

“Sam,” the man moaned.

“Where ya from, Sam?” the cop asked.

“The balcony.”

I’d Rather Have a Puppy

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a baby.” The little boy says, “Well, flip her around! I’d rather have a puppy instead!”

Son into S&M

One day Mom was cleaning Junior’s room and in the closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his Father got home and showed it to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. So she asked him, “What should we do about this?”

Dad looked at her and said, “Well I don’t think you should spank him.”

Well, I don’t know about you but I found those to be quite funny :D You know, I can just imagine MBJr. doing the same thing as the boy who wanted the dog! LOL! Anyway, TTYL…

Hard Dough and Ham, Hard Dough and Jam

So this evening, we went to Fosters Supermarket at just the right time. Apparently the Sales Rep. from the Captain’s Bakery had just delivers the Hard dough bread to the store. The bread was so fresh, it was still warm… people, they hadn’t yet fastened the bread bags, so you done know! We snapped a loaf up and of course, the rest of the groceries we had gone for.

When we got home, Natty said she was not going to wait to order pizza as we had planned earlier but was going to make some ham sandwiches. (one of the grocery items we had bought was this Honey Ham) Man, those ham sandwiches were the bomb! She put some mayo on, right, then the ham slices, then some nice fresh tomato! To really fill out the description, let me remind you that this ham sandwich was based upon some really irie, fresh, soft hard dough bread! Want one word to describe the sandwich? “Succulent!”, My bredrins!

So anyway, although the sandwich was really nice, it was sort of small. I am a growing boy, after all! I needed more, but I am lazy, and I was also hankering for something sweeter. I decided to spread a slice of the bread wth some guava jelly we had also picked up with the groceries. That certainly filled a gap, bredrins. I was no longer hungry. was nice, but the sandwich was so nice that I started hankering for another Guava Jelly slice of bread. When I hanker after things, I usually try to get it somehow and tonight was no exception. I got me that other slice of bread, with the guava jelly and all! It was excellent!

The long and short of it, folks, is that I overate tonight. I feel pretty damned stuffed tonight! My gosh! I am tired too, but I can’t go and lie down like this! I should probably go for a walk. I might just do it too, after I finish this post.

Hey, I heard about another Yardie who was beaten up in a bar by a bunch of guys! I know him too, though not well… anyway, I think I am going to approach him to join my bunch of ninjas! Then we can take it to the little bastards. Yeah, boyee, I am about to begin an intensive training program to become a ninja on a budget, courtesy of Wikihow! Soon, I will be a lethal weapon, man! Hopefully this Yardie bredrin will join the crew. Then when I get my crew together, we will kick some major butt!
Anyway, I am getting tired in a big way, so peace and love, I’m out!